Autistic Spectrum Disorders and Highly Sensitive People are mutually exclusive- a critique of an article, Part 3 of 3.

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here.

Trigger warning for ableism, specifically against people on the autism spectrum.

The article this is critquing can be found here.

On the other hand, some adults decide they are highly sensitive when they actually do have an ASD. They want to find a normal explanation for something that is not normal.

High sensitivity is as normal as the autism spectrum. I, personally, think this means both are normal. But you can think that they’re both abnormal, if you have to, but you probably shouldn’t.

This is why this article is so messed up- it’s entirely designed to say We’re normal- You aren’t.

The rest after this is suggestions that are actually sensible- you know yourself best, get multiple opinions from multiple therapists if you can (she didn’t say this, but especially if the first diagnosis/lack thereof feels wrong) because you want the definite truth.

However, this bit is still incredibly problematic.

High sensitivity can be a disorder.

The autistic spectrum are not always disorders. Even when they are, saying they aren’t “normal” is also not true.

Insisting highly sensitive people are “normal’ and can’t possibly be disordered does a disservice both to people with other disorders and to highly sensitive people who are disordered. Insisting people on the autism spectrum aren’t “normal”? Disgusting.

Autistic Spectrum Disorders and Highly Sensitive People are mutually exclusive- a critique of an article, Part 2 of 3.

Part 1 is here.

Trigger warning for ableism, specifically against people on the autism spectrum.

The article this is critquing can be found here.

Our next part starts with an exciting situation in which a person without Asperger’s applies motives and thought processes to a near stranger based on his having Asperger’s. Let’s watch. Actually, you want to skip this. Put on some music you like, drink something you enjoy, and scroll down to where you see /Serious Trigger Warning letting you know that it’s slightly less dangerous to proceed. Serious Trigger Warning.

When I happened to be on a week-long group backpacking trip with a man with Asperger’s (he only told us about this at the end), it took some time to realize there was something different about him. I recall best that his normal ten-year-old son (they’d been sent out for a male bonding experience) was in agony from trying to carry a pack too heavy for him. His father told him it was because he had packed too much. This was surely the case, but Dad showed no sympathy or even annoyance.

This strikes me as being common. Also, it strikes me as being in need of context. Did the dad spend the time packing reminding his son to pack lighter? Were there arguments about what does and doesn’t need to be brought? Does the dad know his kid’s pack is too heavy because he spent time trying to get his kid to stop packing non-necessities? Did the dad offer to pack some things but his kid refused and insisted that he could do it?

Even just one of these being true and that’s not an unlikely response to the whining. If you warn someone about something and they ignore your warnings, hearing htem complain about it results in annoyance. That’s not a lack of empathy, that’s not a lack of proper social understanding/reaction. That’s the reason “I told you so” exists in the English language.

And it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that all of those happened, which makes it even more understandable.

Severe Trigger Warning (it’s that bad, seriously, consider just skipping this bit, if you are at all low on spoons- do not read this) It was not about teaching his son a lesson—that would have involved some complex social-emotional negotiations.

….Stop talking. Just, ugh, this is disgusting, the smugness. Did he say that? Did he say “No- Iw asn’t teaching him a lesson” or are you saying “this man clearly can’t handle the complex social-emotional negotiations involved in child rearing he’s just a cold-hearted jerk while normal parents who do the same thing are doig it for their kids own good!”

He was clueless about how to resolve this beyond next time seeing his son had a lighter pack.

Maybe this was teaching him a lesson, it was punishment, and making his kid carry the pack was so that he could spend a week having it drilled into him “I need to pack lighter”.

Not the kindest thing- but it happens. Neurotypical parents do this.

Something clearly had to be done, so my husband carried the boy’s pack on steep climbs. The father expressed no surprise or gratitude.

Your husband just interrupted his parenting without first running it by the boy’s father. Let me make it clear that I know full well that parents can be abusive- but how many parents do you know are grateful when someone undermines their authority?

Now, it apparently/allegedly didn’t upset the boy’s father- not enough for his response to be worthy of noting- so it’s hopefully not that bad. But that still doesn’t mean “Look at this man tormenting his poor child by making him carry a heavy backpack”

He was a very nice man, a nurse by profession, and a good one when I was injured on the trip.

So… Possibly someone who’s more aware of his child’s physical limits so would be more aware of wehther or not hte pack is “too heavy” as in “this will do damage to my child if I don’t help” vs. “too heavy” as in “I don’t want to carry this pack so I’m gonna whine but I can do it”, so it’s even more likely than it usually is that the dad would know he wasn’t hurting his kid by making him carry his own pack?

He could talk readily about his problem, and the fact his marriage had ended because his wife could not stand his lack of emotional empathy.

It happens.

But there was no way that he could be confused with an HSP, except perhaps by his acute awareness that he was different, which made him very sad. He could experience his own emotions, but he could not read the signs of the emotional experiences of others.

But if a lack of empathy is the problem- I’m definitely liable to confuse this person with what they seem to think a person with Asperger’s “disorder” is like (note: this has nothing to do with what people with Asperger’s are necessarily actually like). That’s a serious display of empathy fail there.

/End Severe Trigger Warning

(trigger warning: Anti-Intersex/Dyadism, Binarism, Cissexism) We do know these disorders are genetically based—[…] For example, most but not all of the genes put boys more at risk than girls.

anti-intersex/dyadism and binarism and cissexism. I just love the smell of it in the morning. I will bet you money that she means “That put people with one X chromosome more at risk than people with more than one X chromosome.”

Just say that.

This whole part is just a lot of stuff that may very well be pseudo-science (Autism Spectrum conditions might be caused by “the zillion chemicals we are all ingesting these days”). It might have some basis, but I don’t know. so I’m skipping the rest.

An early diagnosis followed by the right treatment makes a huge difference in the outcome, so you do not want to make any mistakes here.

What the hell is the right treatment? Because often times treatment is incredibly abusive and damaging to people on the autism spectrum. It might make them more “socially acceptable”, but at what cost? When we stop living in a world where PTSD is preferable to being on the autism spectrum (being trans, having an intersex, not being straight, being anything not “normal”)- then I won’t have as much of a problem with it.

But really- depending on the situation, sometimes the right “treatment” is teaching the kid how to handle a world that doesn’t like them. Which isn’t a “treatment” like she’s suggesting.

Severe Trigger Warning (just go read something else, have a nice day) no one who loves a child or their parents would want to think about autism

…

If you don’t understand why it’s problematic to say no one would want to think someone they love might be autistic, please stop reading this and start reading blogs by people on the autism spectrum who do a much better job of explaining why acknowledging that they’re on it, and loving them for who they are, is far kinder than pretending they’re neurotypical.

or is happy for twenty minutes merely watching a bicycle wheel spinning [part of showing how incredibly "bad" it is to have an ASD]

I am so jealous of that kid. Why is it a disorder to be made happy by little things?

Sometimes sensitivity and ASDs are confused because the child with an ASD may have little or no ability to regulate emotions, and sensitive children, too, are more emotional than other children. But with ASDs, these behaviors are due to incorrectly processing perceptual stimulation all the time, not just when overstimulated.

Whereas HSP are just overstimulated by the world so are always overstimulated so…

Yeah.

Also, people on the autism spectrum very likely could match all the traits of HSP and therefore would be an HSP on the autism spectrum.

[Suggesting an “insiders” book that’s written from the autistic perspective by a man who does not have autism. Also, represents him as an "expert" despite the author saying that he is not]

There’s too many things wrong with this.

Everyone may be relieved to find a biological explanation, an ASD [as opposed to high sensitivity], especially since it absolves the parents of any blame.

Why is high sensitivity not a biological condition? What is it?

Alas, such a diagnosis also reduces the hope of changing, of developing stronger social connections with practice.

…

I… yeah. Right. Of course.

Is this true? At all? Can people with Asperger’s, if they want to, not look at how they naturally interact with the world vs how most people do and find a way to help the two jive a bit better to improve reactions?

Emphasis on “if they want to”. If the rest of the world wants to jive with them- maybe we should be asking them how they interact with the world and work to change ourselves to fit that better.

(part 3 coming)

Autistic Spectrum Disorders and Highly Sensitive People are mutually exclusive- a critique of an article, Part 1 of 3.

First: A trigger warning for ableism, specifically against people who have autism spectrum disorders*

Okay, let’s start this out with an explanation- this article is from a site about ‘HSP’ or “Highly Sensitive People”. So if you’re confused by hte use of a very wide-ranging word like “sensitivity” which includes everything from feeling something placed in your hand to being aware when others have different needs, this writer presumably means “Sensitivity” to mean “overly sensitive”.

Here are some traits of a Highly Sensitive Person, for reference.

• Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
• Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
• Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
• Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
• Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
• Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
• Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
• When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?

The author is not writing about the distinction between autism and high sensitivity to explain the distinction, the author is writing to explain why HSP are “normal” while people with ASDs are not. This is outright stated later on, “some adults decide they are highly sensitive when they actually do have an ASD. They want to find a normal explanation for something that is not normal.”

The site is made and run by a person who sells books about “HSP”. One is called “How to thrive when the World Overwhelms You”. Anyways- a few problems before I go into even more.

1. Autism is not always a disorder. It can be. There are autistic people whose autism is very disordered for them. There are other autistic people whose autism is not a disorder, again, for them. And for some people it can sometimes be disordering and other times not.
2. High sensitivity can be a disorder, although again it is not always and for some people it sometimes is and other times it isn’t.
3. The author puts scare quotes around “autism spectrum” as if it’s not really real. Not cool.

To give some perspective, I’m definitely highly sensitive. Over sensitive, I’d say. Freaking out and having to find a literal nook (between the end of a bookshelf and the wall at the least crowded end of the store) to tuck yourself into to calm down because the Barnes & Noble cafe got a bit too loud… Good times.

Sunlight can literally blind me (no, really, my entire vision has gone white and I cannot see at times, other times it just hurts too much so I squint and try to cover my eyes), being gently poked or nudged feels like it’ll leave a bruise, walking past someone with perfume makes me dizzy, if the tiniest bit of food has been slightly burned I feel like I bit into solid charcoal, being in a loud room (as I pointed out) is just horrible. I wish I was exaggerating.

So, now, being a HSP is not the same as being autistic. That does not make me autistic. I am 95% certain that I am not autistic. I believe autism sometimes comes with over-sensitivity like that, although not always to those  degrees. Let’s take a look back at those traits of HSPs, most notably the first few:

“Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby? Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time? Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows? Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation? Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?”

Now notice that upsetting and overwhelming situations for these people are all rather every day humdrum situations- having a lot to do isn’t uncommon, bright lights and strong smells and sirens (okay, the last one it depends on where you live) also aren’t uncommon. Being annoyed by all that is relatively common, depending on just how “bright” a bright light is and just how “Strong” a smell has to be. Going out of your way to avoid them, however, is pretty uncommon. Depending on the degree you have to go to to avoid those things, it can severely negatively impact your life- and very well can be a disorder.

Now, it’s not necessarily autism (for one thing- also autism is not always a disorder), and it isn’t always a disorder. It is for me… But that’s me.

Part 2 coming up

*And people on the autism spectrum who don’t have disorders.

-originally posted on tumblr

-phobia

I have never liked the -phobia language used mostly by the LGBTQIA community. And trans, asexual, and intersex people use it, too, so they’re included this time. But it’s getting to me a bit more than usual. There are two main reasons: It is ablist and it hurts the communities.

For why it’s ablism: because phobias are real things. They qualify as disorders, if you want to use that term, it’s in the DSM and all that. I hate the DSM, but it’s there. I also am uncomfortable with the term neuroatypical, but phobias almost definitely qualify under the label. A genuine phobia can have serious effects on a person’s life.

Things like homophobia and xenophobia are not the same thing, but are being compared to that. This is not fair on people who have genuine phobias.

Something that I hadn’t thought of before but eateroftrees pointed out, this also makes things harder for people who actually can develop genuine phobias as a result of internalizing hatred. Although not for everyone, for some people the self-acceptance process can involve panicking, even for people who have friends who are gay/bi/trans/feminine and support those friends, because of the heavy anti-gay, anti-bi, anti-trans, anti-feminine messages in this culture. This is not the same as mistreating people for being gay or bi or trans or feminine, and conflating it with that only makes it harder for people who experience this.

This also has a very real damage to the communities. Don’t believe me? Look up “Gay Panic Defense” and “Trans Panic Defense”. The idea that hating gay people and trans people is a phobia adds to the validity of these. It sets up an ideology where a cis man on trial for brutally harming a trans woman who made no moves to harm him save for self defense can say “I was afraid for my life”, and a jury will believe it because they keep being told that people like him are severely afraid of trans people instead of being told that people like him hate trans people.

A rant about a teacher

My partner is majoring in Japanese. My partner’s Japanese teacher is the head of the department and also one of only two people (one of whom is away and will be for most of our time in college) who can be my partner’s academic advisor. She has a lot of power over my partner. This is not a good thing.

The first thing about her that bothered me is that she’s commented on how she doesn’t want to produce “handicapped Japanese speakers”. By this she means she wants everyone in class to be as fluent as possible. But it doesn’t erase the ablism of it. The way she teaches class, a deaf person would almost certainly not be able to learn, and my partner has a hard time due to undiagnosed hearing problems (they probably need a hearing aid, but yay being poor with sucky health insurance). The undiagnosed making it impossible to get the school to tell her to lay off, although I doubt she would anyways.

This teacher expects you to go to class sick. Not just go to class, but go to class completely prepared and able to function as well as you can while not sick. If you can’t do this, she gets furious with you. She gets furious with you if you don’t go to class. Generally not going to class is the better option, but she still expects students to go to class no matter how sick they are and do just as well as they would on a good day.

She also communicates very badly. I don’t mean this to be a jab at her English. I mean that she’ll say “You can use your books in class” then get angry when people use their books in class. I think that what she wants to happen is that she says “You can use your books in class” and then everyone is so awesome that they don’t need to even though they have the option. Similarly, she says “you shouldn’t be afraid to make mistakes in class”. However, if you make a mistake she felt that you shouldn’t have made, she won’t call on you for the rest of the class, meaning that you lose valuable practice. Again, I think what she wants to happen is for her to say that and then everyone is so awesome that they don’t make mistakes. This sets up an incredibly frustrating situation for everyone.

My partner is a UK citizen and a permanent resident in the US. Most of the people in the class are US citizens. The teacher sometimes sends out emails with scholarship opportunities to study Japanese, at least one of which said it was only open to US citizens. My partner pointed this out and the teacher responded with an email giving a link that had to be followed through several pages just to be told “Countries who have an agreement with Japan” (which may or may not include the UK). This link was accompanied with scolding that in the future, my partner should do their own research. She then publicly said to the class not to email her about unnecessary things, which is something she does to publicly shame students.  Let me point out once again that US citizens are not expected to do their own research.

And right now my partner is passed out exhausted next to me and can’t rest as long as they need to and has another unneeded stressor added. Namely, the teacher decided that because they have a midterm tomorrow and can’t study for a test for tomorrow, my partner should just do it today. This was decided this morning, the test’ll be at 2. So rather than having the extra time to study for the midterm at a relaxed pace, my partner will instead be cramming for a test.

This is all without going into the utter fail of the sections on gender or that she forces my partner to use male first-person pronouns (when there are fine neutral options) and say they have a “wife”.

I am not happy with her at all, and there are plenty of other things I’d love to tell her off for. But the problem is that she is the only Japanese teacher in the school and essentially the only person who can be my partner’s advisor. My partner is stuck with this person for 2 of the next 3 years (plans to go to Japan for Junior year. We get to arm wrestle with the school to get them to let me go to a place in Kyoto for a semester as well because she doesn’t want people to go to Japan unless they’re doing it her way).  I do not think that she is in any way above making my partner’s life hell if I let her know that she’s already discriminating against my partner on the basis of their citizenship. Which I’m pretty sure is against the school rules to do, but I don’t know who to go to about this because, again, she’s the head of the department and I can’t risk getting someone involved only for her to take it out on my partner.

I’M BLIND!!! Colorblind That Is… via Mike Lemons

Read the full post here. Edited for cissexist, interphobic, and racist language. Yes, “Caucasian” is racist. (the link also doesn’t give textual descriptions of the images for visually impaired people) But aside from the blog author needing to check a few privileges, it’s a REALLY good post. Definitely read the whole thing if you can.

Reedited after my own intersex ignorance was pointed out.

This was the day where I had to start answering these questions every time it came out that I had this hereditary condition: “Can you see green?”  “Can you see red?”  “What color is this?”  It is simply amazing how misunderstood this condition is.  I also don’t think people realize how much this misunderstanding can affect people.

Color blindness is an inherited condition(usually anyway) most common in men people with one X chromosome ( 8-12 percent of Caucasian men white people with one X chromosome and less than one half of one percent in women people with more than one X chromosome).   The basic definition of color blindness comes in three basic flavors.  There is the very rare condition of total color blindness, where a person sees their world in shades of black, white, and gray.  Blue-yellow color blindness is also quite rare, and as the name implies, these people struggle with colors in shades of blue and yellow.  The last classification is red-green color blindness.  This is, by far the most common version of the condition.  Individuals with this last aspect have issues with shades of red and green.

In my case, I am red-green color blind.  The first thing people do when they hear this is immediately point to something red or something green and ask if I can tell what color it is.  The short answer to that is, yes I can see green and I can see red.  The label color blind is something of a misnomer.  Really the condition should really be labeled as having a color deficiency and not blindness to color altogether.  Much like other traits you have such as your finger prints, color blindness is unique to the person.  My issues really only flare up on two occasions.  In really low light some greens for me will turn grey or black (no not stoplights at night, it’s more subtle than that).  Secondly, if two shades of green are close together and are very similar, they may blend together or create a bit of a grey shift too.  It is hard to describe, but that’s what happens for me.