Alright, so the term “Lesbian[Gay/Bi] Until Graduation” exists. It seems a bit busted and biphobic, but I can see how it could be problematic.
Now, a lot of colleges are safe bubbles. You can “experiment” without serious risk of any problems compared to the “real world”. You’re unlikely to be fired or expelled at most schools, you can generally get a circle of friends who’re accepting, and you’re generally far enough from your parents that if there are familial risks there isn’t much danger. The real world generally isn’t so forgiving unless you live somewhere that’s cLG(b) accepting, and not everyone can. There are still camps for all-too-often-married cis guys to try and get rid of their homosexual desires, and they aren’t always bi, this is how strong homophobia and biphobia in the world still is. It’s not really surprising that people would take advantage of a safe bubble then revert back to presenting as straight afterwards.
This isn’t an inherently bad thing, it’s good that people have a safe space to be able to explore other parts of themselves even if they ultimately decide either that isn’t who they are or that it isn’t worth the risk to be out. But I can see how it’s hurtful to people who are lesbian, gay, and bisexual (and generally non-het). For the ones who were used as an “experiment”, if a proper relationship happened, they may feel that their feelings were being toyed with. It also can make the community as a whole look “less valid”, because it’s turning their sexualities into fads. It’s difficult.
Let me make something clear, though: I do not consider this to be the same as a bisexual person meeting someone of the opposite sex after college and getting married while still identifying as bi. Sometimes the term has been applied to people who do this, and I think that’s busted.
Now… trans until graduation. I found a post about it and it seems like it’s far more a touchy issue. Here’s the more relevant bit:
Being transgender has become a fad at Smith College. Yeah, I said it, a fucking fad. Women, especially lesbian women, have come to eroticize and fetishize the trans men in this community or really anyone who expresses masculine traits. I’ve had friends who have had strangers come up to them and ask if they were transitioning simply because they display traits that are not traditionally feminine. When they say they are not, the stranger will respond, “Well, you’d be hotter if you were.” What? Every week I hear of someone else who has changed their name, who’s taking T. Whatever, I guess, you’re choice. But here’s the question no one is asking, after college, will this still be your choice? Some may say, so what if it isn’t? And here’s my response: by co-opting trans identity and shucking it off when it’s no longer convenient or no longer useful, it trivializes the real struggles that transgendered and genderqueer folks have to go through because gender-variant folks can’t do that. They’re playing with oppression, an oppression that they do not have to experience and may not actually fully understand. For so many people, it’s a deeply personal and intensely difficult struggle. Also, it’s a highly politicized identity, which these kids are only playing with, without having to experience the real oppression or the real personal and political struggle.
I still don’t like the word gender-variant and this person is doing nothing to fix that, can’t believe a trans person would actually say “Isn’t transitioning just reinforcing the gender binary?”. That said, I think I know someone who was Trans Until Graduation. I don’t know if she identifies as such, but it seems to fit the bill. Now, I know trans people who don’t medically transition at all are out there, and they can’t always stay out after college, I won’t try to describe the differences as if they’re all-encompassing, but there are differences between that and this. Again, not what I’m talking about. This is much more related to cis appropriation of genderqueer identities.
This whole thing is complicated, obviously. Being too wary of cis appropriators could end up as a dangerous witchhunt of who’s “trans enough”, which we have enough problems with already. There’s no decent way to tell someone to stop identifying as they do, and it’s a slippery slope. But cis people appropriating our identities has its problems. It can end up with skewed ideas about trans people, make people who are trans doubt themselves more than they already do, make others more suspicious of people who only come out as trans after meeting trans people (even though this makes perfect sense) which limits the amount of support the people just coming out get, egg on the trans fetishists who can be very dangerous to our community, etc.